If I lose myself tonight it'll be you and I
by Escape-Fic
Summary: The heat of the spotlight used to be exhilarating... [A little... I don't know what, that was stuck in my head (and written, probably, too quickly).]


**[Note: Song is: If I lose myself tonight - Mashup-Germany.]**

**I stared up at the sun**

**Thought of all the people, places and things I've loved**

The heat of the spotlight used to be exhilarating, it meant she was in focus, she had earned more than just a momentary glance as the audiences eyes passed over the group and took in carefully choreographed movements. The glare was suddenly uncomfortable and she longed to be hidden in the back behind the senior girls. Humiliation, burned a path through her insides as she fought to settle her stomach. She tried to focus on anything, fumbling desperately with memories of things that made her smile. Her eyes scrunched tightly closed and the tears that had settled across her lower lashes slid down her cheeks.

**I stared up just to see **

**Of all the faces, you were the one next to me**

The reassuring hand that settled on the small of her back pulled her from her reverie and she turned to the redhead as her other hand squeezed her arm in a feeble attempt to offer some comfort as she was helped to her feet.

**You can feel the light start to tremble **

**Washing what you know out to sea **

**You can see your life out the window, tonight**

The tears blurred her vision as she rose, the lights blending into a rippling glow. Though dreams were intangible Aubrey swore she could feel them slipping between her fingers. Her eyes were trained on the scuffed black of the stage as she finally slipped into the wings, Chloe kept the pace, striding confidently past Alice and the other Bellas towards the nearest exit.

Chloe hailed a cab and tucked Aubrey inside. The blonde stared vacantly out of the window, the brightness of the headlights on the opposite side of the street burned her eyes, but she didn't look away. She watched silently as the lights of the city swept past and the vehicle raced towards the refuge of their hotel.

**If I lose myself tonight It'll be by your side **

**I lose myself tonight**

Aubrey was trying hard to maintain a stoic expression as they reached their room. Her lips pressed together as she scraped her teeth repeatedly over her lower lip as she followed Chloe wordlessly into the bathroom. Chloe unbuttoned the navy Bellas blazer and pushed it off Aubrey's shoulders, not caring as it fell into a heap on the floor. She tapped the toe of her shoe against the inside of Aubrey's and waited as the blonde stepped out of them before tugging the zipper of her skirt and nudging it from her hips. Her focus shifted to the marred white shirt as she flicked the buttons free and tugged it down Aubrey's arms.

Aubrey was left to divest herself of her underwear as the redhead fumbled to bring the shower to temperature. Chloe caught her before she ducked under the water and pressed a kiss to her temple as she unpinned her hair and ran her fingers gently through tousled blonde curls.

**If I lose myself tonight It'll be you and I **

**Lose myself tonight**

It took a moment for Aubrey to register Chloe closing the door to the shower behind herself and the tears she had been holding back welled in her eyes as arms wrapped around her, gentle fingers wove into her hair and tucked her head in close against Chloe's shoulder.

**I woke up just to see **

**With all the faces You were the one next to me**

The curtains were still open and moonlight streamed in great gashes across the room. She didn't move. She just lay still, thinking, musing over past and dreading future. She let her head fall away from the window, her cheek resting on still damp hair. Chloe was still asleep, her head on the edge of Aubrey's pillow rather than her own. Her fingers hung loosely around Aubrey's hand and she squeezed softly before rolling over and curling into the redhead's body, the girl stirred slightly and pulled her closer nuzzling the top of her head. Hot breath against her scalp told her that everything would be ok and she longed to accept the words without question.

**You can feel the light start to tremble **

**Washing what you know out to sea **

**You can see your life out of the window, tonight**

All she could do was cry, wet smears that ran sideways over her cheek and into her hair.

**If I lose myself tonight It'll be by your side **

**If I lose myself tonight **

Breaths rattled in her throat as her chest seemed to constrict and deny her the simple pleasure of drawing in cool air. Chloe's thumbs circled against her temples in an attempt to soothe her. Her face was close and her breath ghosted over Aubrey's lips as she whispered, imploring snippets about deep breaths and focusing on her voice. She tried.

**If I lose myself tonight It'll be you and I **

**Lose myself tonight**

She tried. The shaky breath she sucked in soothed the burning that had been rising in her chest, and Chloe's lips on hers doused it entirely. Suddenly her mind was blank., empty, and all she could feel was how soft Chloe's lips were and how warm the hands that cupped her cheeks felt as they slid down from her temples.

**I lose myself tonight**


End file.
